Chapter 16: Discipleship
The guru-disciple relationship is the most important of the Spiritual Path. The guru is the channel sent by God to bring His devotee to freedom, and he only comes when the devotee, consciously or not, calls for him. Paramhansa Yogananda, sent from India with the mission of bringing “original Christianity” back to the West, is the guru of the spiritual family that is Ananda.
Since Paramhansa Yogananda left his body fifty-six years ago, I was dubious some months ago on whether accepting him as my guru would deter my spiritual development. I was afraid that some other teacher could present himself as my guru, and I’d miss the chance of attaining freedom through him. Eager as I was to embrace Yoganandaji as my guru, that little doubt still lingered in my mind, until I finally wrote Swamiji and asked him about it.
His response banished the rest of my doubts: Yogananda is still the guru, acting through his living disciples. Actually, his response was a lot longer: he sent me an article he wrote on the subject, several pages long, but that’s the essence of it, if I remember it right. After all, Yogananda himself claimed that he was no one’s guru, but God was the guru and he was but a channel for Him. Swamiji says he is no one’s guru, but Yogananda is the guru and Swamiji is but a channel for him. Is there any difference? Maybe the quality of the channel? Perfect versus almost perfect? I do not care too much at this point; I know for sure that I made the right decision anyway.
This decision, however, came to me as a riddle at first! I had no expectations of what I would do while staying at Ananda Village, except that I hoped I would get an appointment with Swamiji, and that Divine Mother would grant my prayer and let me take the most advantage of my week. It came as no surprise, therefore, when Marga offered me to take discipleship on Monday afternoon; what surprised me, however, was that I was feeling reluctant to accept! So, I gave her an uncompromising response and left it at that.
The issue, however, remained in my mind during the following days: why did I feel reluctant to accept her proposal? It wasn’t that I was reluctant to take discipleship: I did want it very much. Then why? I tried asking my inner guidance: “Will I accept her offer now?”, the response was “No”. I asked several more times in the course of the next day and half, the response was always the same. I was confused, and wondering on whether I was interpreting my inner guidance correctly or not; after all, I thought, I’d never asked about such an important matter, it may very well be that my own fears or desires were not allowing me to hear it correctly! Finally, on Wednesday morning, I felt that it would be good to call Seva and ask her about it.
Seva kindly agreed to meet me after lunch and I told her of my dilemma. She looked confused at first, asked me a few questions, and then suggested that I call Dave to talk about it; she would leave him a message to inform him that I would be calling. This seemed to me like the right thing to do, so I accepted.
Later that day, I called Dave:
“Hello, my name is Hezequiel…”
“Ah, yes, Seva told me you’d call; she says you would like to see me to talk about Kriya Yoga.”
“If it’s no bother, yes.”
“No, it’s no problem. Let’s see… can you make it next Friday, at 2:30PM?”
“Sure, I can. But… Lakshman has been trying to get me an appointment with Swamiji, and if it happens it’ll have to be either Thursday or Friday. If the appointments conflict, would you mind rescheduling it?”
“No, sure. By all means you should go see Swamiji in that case.”
“Okay, thank you very much.”
“See you on Friday.”
“Bye.”
I asked Divine Mother again whether this was okay; the response I got: “yes”. Then I realized why (or at least part of the why, who knows if there was any other motive!) I’d been urged to wait on the discipleship issue: it had given me the chance to have a meeting with Dave! I had forgotten it already, but I had been wanting to communicate with him because, as a Khechari Mudra expert, I wanted his advice on how I could attain it. Also, for some reason, I felt that it would be the right thing to do to take the discipleship after having my meeting with Swami (though I didn’t know when it would be yet), so I was more than satisfied with the deal.
Friday came, and I was planning to go take a few pictures between 1:30 (after lunch) and 2:30, while I waited for the time to meet Dave at the entrance of The Expanding Light reception building. However, for some reason, I forgot all about it come 1:30, and I decided to go greet Seva instead, so I could say goodbye to her before leaving Ananda Village. I reached her office at about 2:15 and saw she was on the phone, so I waited.
After ten minutes, I was still waiting and she was still talking; I wasn’t listening to what she said, but sometimes a few words filtered in. Suddenly I caught the word “discipleship” and memory came back to me! I looked at the clock, it was 2:25! I raced out of the building as I started to head back to The Expanding Light, but I met Dave right outside, heading there also. So, all was good!
We went into his office and he talked to me about discipleship and about step three of the Ananda Course in Self-Realization. He told me my next step would be to take discipleship and, a few months later, I might be eligible to take Kriya. Then, he picked up a copy of Part A and B of Step III of the course and gave them to me, along with a little book on Khechari (he later explained and showed Kechari Mudra to me, after my initiation). Going outside, we picked up the last flower that was around for the purpose of my discipleship, in whose ceremony I had offer in the altar some money and a flower; I don’t remember what the first symbolizes (I have yet to read about the discipleship ceremony), but the second symbolizes devotion.
Another office of Rajarsi Park. Next to the corner of the building, a yellow flower can be seen. That's the flower I'd pick up just an hour later for the ceremony of discipleship.
Once everything was set, we walked to Lahiri Shrine to perform the ceremony. It is extremely simple, consisting mainly on a prayer and a vow. We chanted for a while, too… well, Dave chanted; I just tried to follow along, chanting the words I could understand and leaving the rest to him. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I did when I got back to Canada was picking up my chants and songs booklet and look for that particular chant; ever since then, it has been one of my favorite companions for the trip to and back from school! I must also say that Dave sang it delightfully. I cannot tell whether this was because he has got a nice voice or because he sang with such devotion, or maybe both. In any case, it was very beautiful. Here are the lyrics:
Listen to my soul song, listen to my heart song!
In secret, in my soul, I will gather blossoms for Thee.
Dipping them in devotion, I will lay them at Thy feet.
I can still listen clearly to Dave singing it in my mind!
So, from then on, September 5th, 2008, I officially became a disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda’s. It was a bond I already felt deeply in my heart, but I was glad to “declare it to the four winds”, so to speak. I cannot say I experienced a sudden deep change in my consciousness since then, but I am sure the change is happening gradually over time, and I’m glad I no longer feel any mental reserves on calling Yogananda “Guruji” with all my heart! I have also felt him a lot closer than I used to these last few weeks, but I believe that is something that started the moment I set a foot on Ananda, and not particularly because of the discipleship ceremony. Independently of what triggered it, however, it happened, and that’s the most important thing.
I pray always that I may take full advantage of it. I pray and then I think, quoting him: “I have found eternal shelter in a true guru!”
Previous: Chapter 15: Healing Prayers
Next: Chapter 17: The AUM Technique
